So I was packing up my bags as usual after french class last week, trying to make a swift escape before my teacher could make any indecipherable comments in my direction. See, I think he tries to joke with me, but my brain doesn’t register french humor yet. So usually I’m left standing there gaping while my multi-lingual classmates cackle around me. Yes folks, learning is so much fun!
Anyway, as I shuffled toward the door, the guy who sits next to me caught my attention — and to my surprise, he began speaking to me in halting english. “Is ok that I walk with you?”
Wha? You speak english? It was all I could do not to throw my arms around him and shout “F*** YEAH!” And then smack him upside the head for not translating the jokes for me.
So we continued to the metro, my new best friend asking about Obama and Washington and American movies. So cute! He told me about the one person he knew in Virginia, and asked if I knew her. Even cuter! He proposed that we start meeting up after class to practice english/french together. Awesome! I clearly need help! It was all pretty cool until he said this:
“I has wanted to ask since beginning of class: What does Mrs. Willson eat to make her so beautiful?”
HAAAAAAAAAAA! Ha ha ha…ha. He wasn’t laughing with me. Just waiting patiently for my reply.
Thank geezus it was time for me to get off the metro. How does a person answer such an inquiry? For one, “beautiful” is a stretch. Funny? Sure. Smart? Maybe. Good at watching hours of Law and Order? Definitely. But really sir? WHAT DO I EAT? To make me so beautiful?
Funny you should ask! Because I had cheesecake for lunch yesterday. And a diet coke for breakfast.
Just last Saturday I ate pigs feet carpaccio, roasted rabbit legs and chocolate tiramisu. In one sitting.
I also eat plenty of veggies, but they’re usually washed down with a nice buttered hunk of baguette. I would estimate that nearly 20% of my daily fruit intake comes in fermented liquid form. This weekend I made homemade cream biscuits, which were promptly turned into strawberry shortcake. That was after the plate of creamy bacon, leek and pea risotto.
And let’s be real: a pain au raisins habit does not a supermodel make. Pretty sure Charlize and Giselle are on a slightly different meal plan. But I will say that I drink at least a liter of water a day, because it really does wonders for your skin.
Especially when you’ve drunk your body weight in champagne the night before.
9 commentsAdd Yours
Oh my freaking god, I can’t wait to get back to Paris. With my career on the catwalk long over, I am free to indulge.
Ok, you do eat some crazy S#IT sistah but clearly it is working for you.
Well, I don’t know if it’s working, but it certainly isn’t hurting! Which is a miracle! hahahahah
Also, after re-reading this, I think it’s altogether possible that I have a tapeworm.
Pretty sure he wants to be more than friends with you……
tape worm, yes. skinny, yes. he wanted lots of you, that’s for sure. and you’re lovely and smart and funny all in one package, how could he resist? did he see the gigantic (lovely) wedding ring? NOT!
~ me 🙂
Horray for parasites and pastries!
[…] them all of the most glorious things to eat. And we all know that I’ve been doing some serious eating. No one, and I mean no one, leaves on my watch without at least […]
[…] about all the obsessive talk about eggs and chocolate pudding? Do I scare you enough with my normal eating habits that the news of me eating nothing but huevos rancheros and Jell-O wasn’t even a blip on the […]