OK people of France, we can all agree on your many superior aspects: You have foie gras and the Musee D’Orsay, chateaux and miles of pristine vineyards. You’ve got croissants and pain au raisins. You’ve got a clear champagne monopoly. You’ve got Paris, with perfectly charming little ramshackle streets and gloriously grand boulevards alike. You’ve got the cafe scene covered. All of your female inhabitants are skinny and smell nice. The views are rarely ugly and even your endlessly oppressive gray skies are fabulous in some indescribable way.
But you know what you don’t got?
Turkey. Corn pudding. Stuffing. Sweet potatoes. And pumpkin pie. For breakfast.
Oh, and my family and friends.