I went and totally skipped out on our Vocab lesson last Friday. Now I could blame the outrageously beautiful Parisian weather (sunny! warm enough for flip flops! Which means we’ll be wearing turtlenecks in July) or attribute the lapse to baby brain. But the truth is, I was just really pumped about scoring a Baby Bjorn thingy at the thrift store for 15 euro!!! CHA-CHING!
Granted, with the crappy exchange rate that’s still something like 500 USD, but no one has to rain on my parade by reminding me. I’d rather relive my glorious thrifty moment and continue patting myself on the back. You see, I just happened to be strolling through a charity thrift shop in the 16th with a friend, perusing the old books and dented silverware, when I saw it: perched on a rack between the dusty Easter hats and two old ladies trying on knockoff Chanel suits, a brand new-looking baby carrier contraption.
Not having purchased any baby items yet (other than RedSox onesies), I thought, Hey! We’re going to need something to lug around this baby human I’m growing! Because I don’t know much about babies, but I’m pretty sure it’s not going to just walk on out of my hoo-hah.
So I lurked around a while to see if anyone had just misplaced this Bjorn thing with no tag. And then I grabbed it and sprinted to the cashier before anyone could say it was theirs. And thus I am now the proud proud owner of a Baby Bjorn baby holder. I cannot WAIT to strap Husband up in that thing with a watermelon for practice.
But aside from feeling ecstatic about finding a truly miraculous bon marché and setting up a precedent of not spending precious champagne dollars on my child, I am slightly saddened by what my life has come to: gloating about discount baby carriers.
And for that, I am so so sorry.
Unlikely Diplomat 
I don’t think I’ve ever told you how much I’ve enjoyed your posts. You provide giggles right up to belly laughs every time. All that AND reassurance that the ability to write a decent (in your case, much better than “decent”) essay is not a lost art.
Did I ever tell you that you’re my favorite cousin? Seriously though, merci! And hope I can keep you laughing!