It’s a good thing my French teacher spent part of Tuesday discussing les interjections. You know, the French equivalent of those little exclamations and phrases you shout when you’re stuck in traffic or stub your toe or step in dog poo. Because when in France, you should be able to say WTF?! or UGH! or Geeeeeezus! so everyone can understand you.
Husband must have sensed that I needed practice with this new vocab, because promptly after dinner he stumbled across a video of a water birth, and suggested we watch it.
Of course, my first reaction was beurk! Gross. No thank you. I’ve seen the miracle of birth firsthand (thanks sis!) and that left me with enough graphic images to last a lifetime. But I was kind of interested in seeing what the heck a water birth was anyway, so we gathered ’round the computer and hit play.
The video followed a nurse who was having her 3rd child. She talked a little about the calming effects of the water and having good water birth experiences in the past. And indeed, when she arrived at the hospital in labor, she was kind of like bof! no big deal.
Then allez-hop! It was time to jump in the tub. There this woman sat in complete zen-like silence, waiting for the time to push. This seemed absolutely crazy to me. Ah la la, c’est pas possible! I shouted, to which Husband said chut! Be quiet! I can’t hear what the midwife is saying!
And then out of nowhere, with nothing more than a slight grimace and a barely audible ouf!, this lady gave (under water) birth to a human.
Ah la vache! C’est super cool! exclaimed Husband, who turned to me with a big goofy grin on his face.
To which I replied Aiiiiiieeeeeeeeeee! and promptly burst into tears.
Zut, these hormones are out of control.
* * *
beurk (berk): uggghhhh! or ewwwww!
bof (bof): huh! or pffft! Like you’re not impressed.
allez-hop (ah-ley op): alley oop! Used when an action starts.
ah la la (ah lah lah): oh my god/gosh!
chut (shoo): French equivalent of shhhhhh!
ouf (oof): Phew! Like when you’re done with something hard.
ah la vache (ah lah vahsh): holy cow!
aie (eye): similar to “oy vey” or “aye aye aye!”
zut (zoot): crap! or shoot!
Unlikely Diplomat 