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What the…

Recap of my conversation this morning with our French bank, which confirms that I am living in an alternate universe: Madame, there is a problem with the account. I think someone tried to cash a check, and there isn’t enough money to cover it. Uh, ok. I didn’t write any checks though. Can you tell…

Til death do us shart.

Yes, you read that title correctly, and I’ll get to that later. First let me say that I have the best family and most understanding husband on the planet. Hands down. Not even the Von Trapps or the Osbournes or the Obamas could come close to their awesomity. Why? Because even after a whirlwind week…

What kind of shell has a nut like this!

Ten points to anyone who can place that quote. Twenty points if the absurdity of this French textbook title made you giggle. Fifty points and all my life’s possessions if you can engineer micro-chip to be placed directly into my brain so I will never have to open such a textbook ever again. You see,…

Just a humble servant of the people.

Let my freshly Rosetta Stoned brain translate for you: SH*T! IT’S RAINING!  Yes, it’s been sputtering and drizzling and utterly downpouring for the past few days. And it’s making it terribly hard to motivate. Seriously, it’s nearly 1pm 2pm in Paris, Brad Pitt is out there roaming the streets somewhere and I can’t even muster the…

Bienvenue! Now watch your step.

Every travel guidebook on the planet extolls the quintessential perfectness of Paris. Beautiful old boulevards lined with regal apartment buildings! Winding old cobblestone streets filled with open markets and cute old ladies! Grand monuments across the skyline! Champagne at breakfast, lunch and dinner! OK, that last one is a personal interpretation of Paris. But the…