I don’t know what this is.

But I’m pretty sure I want absolutely nothing to do with it.

I was too afraid to cross the street and get a closer look, especially since I had flakes of pastry crust clinging to my sweater. But I’m going to go ahead and guess that the menu looks something like this:

Entrées:

• Hot water with lemon
• Spritz of Chanel #5

Plats:

• Louis Vuitton Lean Cuisines
• Coffee
• Cigarettes (unlimited)

Desserts:

• Coke (not the kind you drink)
• Enemas
• More cigarettes

Bon appétit!